A Heartfelt reply to the previous blog 'Being Single' from a reader. He also attached an email he sent to her years back. Thanks Xtougo for sharing with us. I hope she reads it. Love is Sweet oooo. Enjoy and please share your thoughts. Should they get back together? Yay or Nah.
"This thing called love. Very easy to say but difficult to portray. Here I am seated at my office desk exchanging glances with the air as memories of the past came calling. Yes I love Music a lot (soft rock and r&b) if you say, “I am sure he had his ear piece on, you’d be so damn right” Lol! Yes Memories came in silken drapes and she was so bright that I could see it all. Why is this happening I asked myself in quick succession while gently removing my hands from her warm grip. All I could conclude to be the answer without any dispute was Amaka’s piece this morning on being single and ready to mingle and also on waiting for love. In this beautiful piece she asked if love was worth the wait. And my answer to that bright question is yes. But I do have a question. Why do we jump?
Memories always have her ways. With a kiss on my chick she got back my attention. In seconds my hands were firmly held in her grip. Very soft palms I must confess. Lol! Finally the year is 2007. Smiles were all I could see. But I hope my colleagues weren’t thinking that I was going crazy. How could Ugo be smiling to himself? I thought they asked. Now I am beginning to act like a mind reader (old boy concentrate and stop fooling yourself). Ehen! It was 2007 and I recall that year being a bittersweet one for me in the area of loving. I was in love, I waited in love and I fought for love.
I was in love with an older woman who was five years older than I was. Madness! – So I thought; who could have believed so? Not even my Dad who asked me to have a rethink when I met him to tell him that I was going to get married to her. I felt so stupid. I’m sure he felt like he had lost his first son to “love juju”. But that was not the case. I was truly and madly in love. It started like a joke and from there it grew. This lady was everything a man would want in a woman. She had it all. The challenge between us was just the age difference, which I did not have an issue with. She did and could not help but say, “I wish you were older”. But if wishes were horses, Ugo would ride na. Babes accept me and let’s make it real. For once I never thought of having sex with her cause when a man truly loves a woman, sex is always the last thing on his mind. To cut the long story short, we didn’t end up together. We went our separate ways holding each other’s hearts in our palms. But till this day we still ask ourselves if we should have waited. Why did we jump? Shouldn’t we have waited? Why go through trauma? Why compare your other relationships based on the other persons act? These are questions that might never get an answer. I am sure everyone has been in this state before. Imagine if everyone married his or her first love- do you think divorce rate would be this high?
I would want to conclude with one of the letters I wrote when we had it going on. But in all I believe in love and would advise anyone to wait and fight for love. It is worth the wait. Let’s stop jumping. Let’s stop putting buts. Let’s stop the comparisms. Let’s stop listening to what others are saying. Go with your heart. Love again. Love is worth waiting for. "
EMAIL SUBJECT: YOU DIED ME STILL
Hello, i would have so loved to have this discussion with you in person but I might just stutter, so the email… The only thing is that you chose or have still chosen to be evasive!!!! lol! Pseudonym! My pseudonym! The only Lady I gave a name from the deepest part of my Rib. We all have hearts as males and females but the difference in us asides the physical attributes is the number of ribs that we possess. I recall in times past the stories we shared and laughs that we made. Kisses were like claps from the heart of an innocent wild child. I recall a tale you once told of a Guy who left on you and off he went marrying someone else. In times cast he came back begging on you and cried because he wanted you somewhat may. As I listened, I thought to myself, Oh what a sorry state. But XTO can never be in this. I lied to my Heart cause in all our plays and talks, I carelessly watched you take ma heart away. I don’t know if its the SEX still, maybe…but even if I still would love to make love to you, married or not, my Love for you had always been real it never died, never will. I can’t help it. I am still in Love with you. My case is different cause you never gave me the chance. I Love my Wife for who she is and can be. But I Love and still Love ‘the you’ in you that the ordinary eye cannot see. I still whole-heartedly Love you. I do not want to blame you for this. But I guess sometimes the tale of Love (real Love) goes out in some shady way. Something still tells me that I will smile with you again. In all and with a Heavy Heart, YOU DIED ME STILL!!!!!.Why didn’t you just say YES! I feel like you aborted a great destiny. I want to be free off you, but hey I am obsessed with you. Of a truth there is something about you. I know you still feel a lot for me. But you are so good at hiding it all behind firewalls. You don’t have a hard heart ma darling. The world thought they could make it tough. But hey I know you still cry sometimes. I know you still would wish to change the hands of time. I know you still wished I were older or same with you. I know a part of you still feels and wished that I waited a little bit more for you. My heart is still with you. I so long to touch and kiss you still. Since after you, I have never written a poem again. Wake me up again! Bring me back to life. Kiss me yet once again cause that might be the way to let me go eventually. Talk to me once again and maybe lets cry together and let me see if our hearts can bid us both goodbye. YOU DIED ME STILL. I NEED TO FEEL THOSE ARMS YET ONCE AGAIN. Now do you see that I still know my Customer? Lol! Holla back Enigma(you called me that name remember?)
LONELY is not a Word for Valentine’s Day!
February 14, 2020
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