Red Flags (The Signs Are Always There)

We all have a choice on whom we let into our lives. Don’t accept all kinds of people into their hearts. (Proverbs 4:23). These days love is no longer patient. And the patient ones get no bone at all right? Lol! What on Earth also happened to God’s time being the best? Very easily spoken but not easily danced to. Permit me now to use this timeout to educate us all on what we should look out for just in case we have waited for so long and then finally a Woman of scintillating beauty or a Man of prowess and magnificent splendour comes in to sweep us off our feet. Hmmm!!! Easy does it. Here’s a personal story of mine and below is a few list of signs to watch out for while dating or in a relationship.

I met this guy on a project my company worked on and he started the chase. We started talking over the phone and chatting on BBM but I could sense the playboy vibe. So I dodged him, refused all his date proposals and kept him talking and chasing for over a year. Finally, I decided to go out with him but with my friend who acted as chaperone (you know why you need a chaperone? Out with a guy with a playboy vibe, you need another eyes and a second opinion on what your own eyes actually see). We got to this bar and this guy keeps trying hard to do PDA (public display of affection). Nigga please calm down, we ain't dating yet. He excuses himself and goes into the smoking room and I notice he starts chatting with some dude and two girls. He spends about 25 minutes smoking a packet of cigarette abi wetin you want make I talk. Finally, he comes out and starts explaining how he ran into someone he had been dodging for a while. I decide we should call it a night moreover my girdle was getting uncomfortable. I excused myself and went to the rest room just to emerge and he was back in the smoking room apparently telling the girls goodbye or exchanging numbers. Immediately he saw I was out, he walked up to me and started asking me if I was okay or upset about anything. Fast forward to the part when he drops us off and pleads for me to remain in the car because he needed to explain himself. It's 4am, I am sleepy and I haven't said a word or accused him of anything although somewhere in my head, am wondering why he had the need to go say goodbye to those girls. I finally mention that and he starts raking (raising his voice) about how he is a public figure due to the nature of his job. How I should understand that this will always happen whenever we go out and he expects me (in his own words) to keep my head up, keep smiling, be radiant and if am upset about his behaviour, nobody should sense it from my body language. He said he is keeping it real and trying not to pretend like most guys will. Next he says, “There can't be two captains in one ship. We are communicating and that's what people in relationships do, so I need to hear what you have to say.” I then tell him that I appreciate his honesty and openness but first point of correction, one date with you does not automatically qualify you to assume the role of boyfriend in my life. Secondly, I can't date him as I also have a choice of the character of the man I want to date. He starts begging and says he thinks I misunderstood him. Sisters, how can I misunderstand an abusive guy? This guy had all the signs. I jumped out of the car and ran for dear life. Funny enough, my friend said she noticed some moves he made when I went to the rest room and he exchanged numbers with the girls. Babes, always listen to your instincts. The red flags are always there.

Please see signs below that will enable you detect a Red Flag.

{Feel free to add to the list, we are all learning!

1. If he/she acts rudely or disrespectfully to others during the date.

2. You are in a relationship/dating someone who rarely calls you or if he/she does, they do at their convenience. That’s a red flag, Run.

3. If he/she flares up at the slightest aggrieviance, hmmm!!! Don’t be like the guy who just lost his life a few weeks back. Watch it!

4. If he/she slaps you and says, “oh Baby, it was a mistake.” Nna Men run!

5. If he/she hardly spends a penny on you. Sorry this one na aka nkwu kwu (tight fisted). No love without finance.

6. If he/she gets so clingy and easily jealous. Guys, that’s not love. Take the next available Bus out of the relationship.

7. If he/she is addicted to a bad habit. Please don’t try changing them. You are not Rev Father Mbaka.

8. If he/she talks negative at all times and thinks of only harming people. Not good. Watch it.

9. If he/she doesn’t have a good self-esteem and has no future plans (a reasonable achievable one), take off.

10. If he/she wants to call the shot in the relationship at all times, therefore, making your opinions irrelevant. That is not good at all. God gave you brain for a reason!

11. If he/she is your sole source of happiness and are in control of determining your moods at all times. Hmmm!!! Danger. One day he/she would find excitement elsewhere and you won’t be that source anymore.

12. Last but not the least, if he/she is not somehow genuinely liked by your close friends and family members then that’s a red flag too.

P:S-Please remember that sometimes friends could be miss leading when it comes to relationships, but most times family would not. Also, beware of a Guy/Lady who had a dark secret past and did not bother revealing it to you. No story should be enough if you get to find out behind his or her back. Runnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If that guy/babe is just an apple, please do not take that a bite. Am out!