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Suicidal Feeling

At times in life, it hits you like a reminder that, indeed, you are alone. No family or friends (though they are always with you in prayers), just you and your God. Most times, you have to go through life changing challenges alone. It does feel really cold inside and lonely.

Most of the good ones have that feeling sometimes. Especially when things are not going as planned or when you are in a dark place in your life. We all have our shares of dark places and moments. Feel free to share yours and feel free to comment on mine. I felt so depressed and suicidal at some point. I felt I was not where I was meant to be, that my dreams where not getting accomplished as fast as I had wanted. That I was stagnated and that I had a lot planned out for the year, but had not accomplished any. That was just the devil speaking inside my head. I allowed the devil to take a sit inside me. For a second, I forgot who I am. I am a daughter of the most high. A royal priesthood. Who was I to be sad when lots of people didn’t get the opportunity to see the breaking of a new dawn?

It’s reassuring and soothing to know that you have God and that the Holy Spirit is holding your hands as you walk through that phase. Yes, it’s just a phase. God didn’t promise us a life free from trials and tribulations, but he promised us victory at the end (James 1:12).

Who was I to feel suicidal when I can’t create life? Thank God for my friends, who walked me through that rough patch. My mum, who prayed with me from thousands of miles away and spoke blessings and life into me. Who reminded me that I am beautiful, intelligent, smart, a goal getter, accomplished for my age and that i have a bright future ahead of me. That I can’t dim my light because the world will feel deprived waiting to hear what I have to say and offer. I am forever thankful to her and everyone for their constant support. To everyone who does not have someone to pray with or share with…Here at Strugz, we make your problems our own. We help one another rise to become the best God created us to be. I am here today, a testimony of God’s grace and hand of Favour upon my life. I wake up everyday, thankful for life, living my dreams, accomplishing my goals and being a blessing to others. I thank God today that I understand that promise in his word and I am strong and I can stand alone through it all and most especially, for giving me victory over my health challenge.

I am striving to change the world in my own little way as my testimonies unfold. Please share your testimonies with us as it will inspire others and can make a huge difference in someone else's life. Thanks.


1. Go to God in prayers

2. Talk to someone

3. Avoid drinks and alcohol

4. Get emergency help if the thoughts don't go away

5. Do something to distract yourself

6. Remind yourself of why you've held on for so long

7. Remind yourself of your family and friends (loved ones)

8. Make your environment safe

9. Join a support group such as this (Safe Haven)

10. Keep fighting in prayers. (God loves you and can never abandon you).

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